The Unknown, We Meet Again

I recently got laid off from my nanny job, which created stability in my life. At the same time, I found that I have been hiding behind this job, in other words, I have been using it to hold me back from my true path. From putting yoga as my number one priority and sharing that and all that I have to offer with the world. It has kept me in a bubble where I’m playing it safe, playing small. That cliche phrase comes to mind, everything happens for a reason and I believe stepping into my power is the reason.

I feel like I am being nudged to put more effort into what I do, yoga and energy work. To really step into that role I have visualized is foreign to me. It’s not something I do often, put myself out there for the world to judge, critique, and or admire/respect me. But there are a lot of different elements that come up when taking on this responsibility. Having the ability to be vulnerable is huge while incorporating self-compassion, neutrality, and last but not least having humility are some of the core elements that pop up while traversing through this unknown journey. That is currently my life.

Being vulnerable means that you have to put yourself out there regardless of what others think of you. Other peoples perspectives do not have a place when you are claiming your role in any area of your life. Keeping in mind that people will always have their own point of view but that should not affect your actions in moving forward. I am currently just starting to make more of a presence, all while feeling uncomfortable but still coming out on the other side. Like hey, everything is still ok, I’m still alive, thankfully those feelings don’t last forever. I keep telling myself that, the more I keep doing it, the less icky it will feel.

Self-compassion is another key quality to have on this journey. Knowing that failure is inevitable is something we should all come to peace with. I won’t always do what is best and what is right and as hard as I am on myself, creating that space where I don’t self-blame and begin the pity party. I can be one to dwell on things and hold on and this is giving me good practice to accept things I can not control. I am beginning to practice along with this receiving failure in a lighthearted manner, again it’s not easy but it brings me back to this game called Life we are here to play. Seeing life as a child, with an open mind, and not taking everything so seriously.

Being able to hold a space of neutrality is important and follows self-compassion. In order to be in a neutral headspace, we have to have some sense of self-compassion. That self-love creates a great foundation for being ok with the outcome. Self-compassion/self-love organically leads to being gentle with yourself and knowing that maybe sometimes our learning will take a couple of times until we can master a life skill and or lesson, and being neutral with the outcome. In this case, the outcome of putting yourself out there can only teach us how to refine our presentation. The idea of neutrality is being able to dissolve the expectations, being ok with whatever arises and having the humility to embrace a great outcome.

Humility is a great teacher. Have you ever noticed that you begin to slack off a little after receiving positive feedback/praise? Humility has a funny way of letting us know that’s not quite the case. I’m sure being in any field where you are around a lot of people exposes you to compliments and praise. But having the ability to receive compliments and at the same time not let them get to your head. The ego loves compliments and praise and this can be a slippery slope for some of us teachers to get stuck in, meanwhile closing off those compliments we don’t like BUT we do need to work on. I think humility sets everybody apart, just look at the different celebrities that are out there.

In one hand we are encouraged and prompted to put ourselves out there, to show our unique approach not only yoga but on anything we are passionate about and on the other hand, our responsibility is to navigate through this journey of integrity, love, compassion, vulnerability, confidence, softness, neutrality, and humility. We learn to create a healthy balance of it all. Welcoming the scary unknown and all of the elements that come with it.

Responsibility What’s That

Before becoming a yoga instructor, I noticed how impactful teachers are and can be to others. What led me to yoga initially was the mindfulness and philosophy aspects and then it opened up to how my body could benefit from it. Back then I read a lot of self-help books that instilled developing a broader perspective and how life isn’t just a bunch of mistakes. I was drawn to the esoteric world at a very young age. I guess it is in part because I was exposed to it with my grandmother, who was in a sense a curandera. I remember she used to cure me of the evil eye with a raw egg, fan parsley over my body, and always have a home remedy for everything. As a child I used to get annoyed at all of the “crazy” things she used to do. Little did I know how much I would grow to love this about her. But yoga was always an action to me and I got turned off by teachers who pushed their views and ideas onto others. For me I focused on how they showed their yoga through actions, how they exhibited it.

As a yoga teacher, I now have a huge responsibility. When I teach, not only do I make sure I keep bodies safe, but I also have to make sure I don’t push my own views and ideas down peoples throats. Being a yoga teacher comes with a platform for which you are given to communicate the beauty and life of yoga BUT this platform can also get tricky. With this platform comes responsibility and humility. Unfortunately more often than not I feel that this platform gets abused. With the rise of social media and free advertising I’ve seen the ego being the forefront of yoga. The ease of followers like never before, doing just that, people out there following without questioning. Following every word, every routine, diet, and philosophy. I used to work at a yoga studio and I witnessed a lot of this. I saw how people quickly accepted everything that came from their teacher they admired and looked up to. Its understandable, you trust this person, you’ve learned a lot from this person and then suddenly your perspective starts to dim and embody someone else’s. Don’t get it twisted, I am not in the least excluding myself of this. I’ve slipped up in classes too, explaining philosophy can get sticky, teaching with conviction can come off as arrogant and so on. Becoming aware of this is key, almost like when teachers say, “Check your egos at the door”, teachers should do the same.

A big myth people hold true is that yoga teachers have it all together. One can even say, that it’s complicated as a teacher having the “I should’ve known better syndrome.” Yoga teachers are still human with judgments, ideals, perspectives, bad days, crappy attitudes, etc. As a yoga instructor I personally have a big problem with this ongoing urban legend. I am not enlightened, I experience struggles, and I make mistakes too. I want to proclaim this from the tops of the mountains and debunk the myth. I share the good, the bad, and the ugly with people. Life is an ebb and flow, we have highs and lows and I feel like authenticity is important. I feel like we need more of the real, raw, vulnerable aspects because people can relate to that. I try to be as authentic as I can and honestly even writing what “I” do bothers me because that’s not what this is about. This is my opinion, and its ok if others don’t have to agree.

At the end of the day my goal as a teacher is to provoke students to go within, to question everything, take that which resonates and make it your own experience.

 

 

Beat Non Stop

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It was the time the day slowly turned into evening and the purple wisteria got ready to turn in for the night, the grand Moorish fortress of Alhambra basked in the last of the sun’s light. My than husband and I walked down the hill finishing our visit to a magical place when the sound of the guitar pierced the warm flower filled air. As if under a spell, I turned and walked toward the sound. Sitting on an ancient stone, a longhaired man held a guitar close to his chest, moving his fingers with the speed of light creating a sound that was out of this world. He was surrounded by gypsies that began to sing and dance as he finished his solo. I was mesmerized by the sound, feeling of wholeness that I had never felt in my 20 years of existence. My feet were moving to the vibrations of the sound and at that moment I knew that the beat that was so powerful was the beat of life itself connecting everything in the universe.

Music became my inspiration, and many years later with the help of many creative souls, I was blessed to open a place dedicated to it. Beat Non Stop, as it was called, located on Melrose Ave. in the heart of Hollywood. Beat Non Stop established in 1992 became a candy store for DJs and clubbers from around the globe. It was a hub where new tracks found their homes in DJ crates and where magical musical vortexes were created.

Mear and his graffiti crew created a fantastical world full of futuristic landscapes from other realms. LA’s best underground DJs came together to fill the record bins with vinyl from known and unknown artists and places. If I was to put together a list of names of all that became the family of artists, customers, record producers, clothing companies, writers, people that shared good and bad times with me, the list would be so long I would have to buy more memory in my laptop. I thank them for teaching me the power of music. The way it can heal and uplift at the most difficult times. The way it can bestow wisdom on you while you are dancing, and the way you can become enlightened when connecting to the sound. For all the amazing experiences I had and continue having I thank my Beat Non Stop family for being the light on my adventure I call life.

XOXOXO NINA

Nina now sells designer vintage garments on Ebay and has a wonderful blog called unicorns and jam  I was lucky enough to receive her story before she posts this to her own blog. Thank you Nina.

 

March Madness 

It’s almost Spring time! It’s like a metaphor to me especially this year with so much personal growth and revelations. I know soon I’ll blossom into my true free self, striped of all external worries and just be. I’ve done a lot of soul searching, dug deep down inside, and still discovering so much about myself. I’ve experienced a great amount of conflict, Madness, these past months and I am so greatful for them because without it there is no growth. If you have people around you who constantly agree with you no matter what, then you will remain just as you are, stagnant without change. Challenges make you think and uncover things, things that aren’t apparent to those who are still attached to the ego. When you are spiritually open to the universe you will hear when it talks to you. Through these conflicts I am continuing to realize that anything that I take offense to is truly something about me and not the other person. It’s something that I need to process work through and make neutral so that it will no longer impact me as it did. I’m hearing the universe talk to me and I’m so grateful and taking in and growing from every opportunity.

Xoxo

I appreciate your time and if you have any questions let me know.

What have you learned about yourself?

Neutrality

My new focus with my life coach has been finding neutrality and being in control. I’ve recently been struggling with not being in control of what happens in my life. Things as small as catching a cold to finding my dream job or experiencing feelings that affect my body, like anxiety. The first step is welcoming the situation, being open to what has presented itself because the more we deny it the more power we are feeding it. By accepting the situation we are allowing for a natural process to occur. Since we can not change what is happening, we are only making our life difficult by not accepting it. I remember reading about this in The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle except he calls this mechanism, surrendering. When he says,

Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace is transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender. After reading this book years ago it made total sense to me, but I was also in a good place and we all know how different it is when we feel we’re in a quote unquote good place then not so good place. Now, this being the second time I am being exposed to the idea of acceptance/surrender I am in a deeper level of comprehension. I’m not gonna lie, this is still difficult to adjust to but the more and more I do it, the easier it is and the more in tune and at peace I feel. The second part to this acceptance is the idea of being in control, when something arises may it be a cold you’re dreading or anything you are fearful of, call it out. Because don’t forget that whatever you fear you are attracting and manifesting in your life. You are planting a seed of intention even though you don’t want it, it’s there because you have labeled it as a fear. The opposite of fear is again acceptance and by calling that fear out and welcoming it into your life than you neutralize it and thus you are in control of it. By welcoming it you realize that if it comes up in your life that it was because you allowed it. I know that this may be a hard pill to swallow but isn’t it better to be neutral with life so that if and when it happens it doesn’t cause pain? Looking at situations in this way relieves all our worries and doubts. Getting to this place to me is freedom and tearing down all the things we are socialized to believe is what is the most difficult part about this path but I do believe true peace is attainable.

I would love to hear what you think. Thank you for reading xoxo

Why wonder?

You know how sometimes we say, “I wonder why that happened to me?” Well we don’t need to know the answer for everything that happens to us. Our creator has put obstacles in our lives for a reason and there’s times when we won’t know the reason behind an obstacle until years later or maybe we’ll never really know, but that’s perfectly ok. See recently I’ve been confronted with situations where I “need” to find explanations, but there’s no need. In life we have so many questions such as, “where am I going in life, who will I marry, will I be successful, am I going to fail at this, does he like me?” All of those questions are irrelevant because if we needed to know the answers right away then our lessons and experience would be void. Everything happens for a reason and there’s a purpose to anything and everything. If we take on a job and “fail” in it then we learn how to improve it, which is definitely a plus or we may learn that we don’t like the job and can now take the next step to resolve the situation. It’s just like that famous saying goes, “trust the process”, since we are not all knowing like our Creator we have to go through different scenarios to test the waters. I know that I can definitely get wrapped up in the whys of life, especially because I know I like to control the instances in my life. I tend to sit and analyze situations and pretend like my analysis will guide me in the right direction, but THEY WON’T. That’s just a waste of time because as soon as someone else comes into the equation who you care for, that analysis goes directly out of the window and negates it. Now if we took a different approach to life and say, “well, I’ll do the best with whatever is presented to me and whatever the outcome is it’s going to be the exact thing I had to go through because it was already written for me”. By surrendering to the inevitable we create calm and relaxation into situations that will now bring about happiness and success as opposed to the pain and worry it used to create. A change in perspective goes a long way.

2015

Happy New Year friends its been a minute since I’ve posted. So glad to be back!! I have discovered so much while I’ve been away and have been fully captivated by family and friends this holiday season.  I believe we spend so much time wrapped up in the hoopla of it all that we forget whats really going on. The holiday season really brings your loved ones together and if you don’t take advantage of it then everything goes back to normal. You quickly go back to the day to day life where you rarely get to see your loved ones and you go through that time period when your trying to fit friends into your crazy schedule.

During these times I reflected on how tough I’ve become, not allowing emotions or feelings to resonate in my body but instead I would put them aside as if I didn’t have time to deal and process them.  I’ve realized that I’ve become this stone of a person where really nothing affected. I learned that my life had taught me these coping mechanisms to deal with my life struggles that I was exposed to at a young age. At this point there is no reason for me to dwell over what has already been done but now its time for me to heal and finally process all these feelings that have made me become this tough girl. I am happy that 2014 was there to show me how much I have to accept my feelings in order to shed them and be able to grow from them and really and truly move on. I am ready to release my hardships, process, mend, and most importantly love and love fully. Thankfully I am well on my cleansing and self-discovery journey and I am glad to welcome 2015 with open arms.

xoxo

My beautiful nephew and niece
My beautiful nephew and niece
My sister and her kiddos.
My sister and her kiddos.
Funky Sole @ Echoplex with my friend Judy.
Funky Sole @ Echoplex with my friend Judy.
With my step niece Lisette.
With my step niece Lisette.
Selfie with my nephew.
Selfie with my nephew.
My mom and my sister.
My mom and my sister.
My family consists of women except for my nephew =)
My family consists of women except for my nephew =)